im lvl36... no longer see the same pokemon my son sees while were together..have i been blackballed somehow?

My wife got red warning too. Weird. She barely plays.

Did you see Weedle or Caterpie? If no, you got shadow banned. This will be gone after 10-14 days.

It might be because you leave your game on all the time, especially if you don't move, which I believe is how trackers / scanners work, they have dummy accounts that just sit in a certain location seeing if Pokemon spawn.

I used to leave my game on when I was at home in case something good showed up on nearby, and I would often get captchas rather than not being able to see any Pokemon, though this was probably like a year ago, so they might have changed how they punish accounts that are detected as tracking accounts.

Did you use any tool or app to get IV value? This tool or app require to log in your PoGo account. If yes, that is your problem. Uninstall all the app and change the password.